Re: If College Students Wrote the Bible

deji wrote:
> > If College Students Wrote the Bible
> >
> > * The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.
> >
> > * The Ten Commandments would actually be only five; double spaced and
> > written in large font.
> >
> > * A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
> >
> > * Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
> >
> > * Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's E-mail to abuse@romans.gov.
> >
> > * Reason Cain killed Abel; they were roommates.
> >
> > * Reason why Moses and followers walked the desert for 40 years; they
> > didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
> >
> > * Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the
> > seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due
> > and then pulled an all-nighter.
> >

Re: Fwd: READ ONLY IF YOU HAVE TIME FOR GOD

--- withafetso wrote:

Subject: READ ONLY IF YOU HAVE TIME FOR GOD

God, when I received this e-mail, I thought...

I don't have time for this... And, this is really
inappropriate during work..

Then, I realized that this kind of thinking is...
Exactly, what has caused lot of the problems in our
world today.

We try to keep God in church on Sunday morning...

Maybe, Sunday night...

And, the unlikely event of a midweek service.

We do like to have Him around during sickness...

And, of course, at funerals.

However, we don't have time, or room, for Him during
work or play...

Because... That's the part of our lives we think..
We can, and should, handle on our own.

May God forgive me for ever thinking...

That... there is a time or place where...

HE is not to be FIRST in my life.

We should always have time to remember all HE has
done for us.

If, You aren't ashamed to do this...

Please follow the directions.

Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be

ashamed of you before my Father."

Not ashamed?

Pass this on ONLY IF YOU MEAN IT!!

Yes, I do Love God.

HE is my source of existence and Savior.

He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without
Him, I will be nothing. Without Him, I am nothing.
But, with Christ, HE strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)
This is the simplest tes t.

If You Love God... And, are not ashamed of all the
marvelous things HE

has done for you...

Send this to ten people and the person who sent it
to you!

I don't think I know 10 people who would admit they
love Jesus. Do You love Him?

THE POEM

I knelt to pray but not for long,

I had too much to do. I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.

So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,

And jumped up off my knees.

My Christian duty was now done

My soul could rest at ease.

All day long I had no time

To spread a word of cheer. No time to speak of
Christ to friends,

They'd laugh at me I'd fear.

No time, no time, too much to do,

That was my constant cry,

No time to give to souls in need

But at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with
downcast eyes. For in his hands God held a book; It
was the book of life.

God looked into his book and said

"Your name I cannot find.

I once was going to write it down...

But never found the time"

Now do you have the time to pass it on?

Make sure that you scroll through to the end.

Easy vs. Hard

Why is it so hard to tell the truth but Yet so easy
to

tell a lie

Why are we so sleepy in church but Right when the
sermon is over we suddenly wake up?

Why is it so hard to talk about God but yet so easy
to talk about nasty stuff?

Why is it so boring to look at a Christian magazine,
but yet so easy to look at a nasty one?

Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e- ma il, but
yet we forward all of the nasty ones?

Why are the churches getting smaller but yet the
bars and dance clubs are getting larger?

Do you give up? Think about it . Are you going to
forward this, or delete it?

Just remember-God is watching you. Prayer
Wheel-Let's see the devil stop this one!

Here's what the wheel is all about. When you receive
this, say a prayer for the person that sent it to
you....

That's all you have to do....

There is nothing attached....

This is so powerful....

Do not stop the wheel, please....

Of all the free gifts we may receive, Prayer is the
very best one....

There are no costs, but wonderful rewards... GOD
BLESS!

May God keep you and bless you. If this doesn't give
you chills, nothing will...this message is very
true. Hope you are all as blessed as I was from this
story. I wonder how many people will delete this
without reading it because of the title on it?

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in
a small New Englandtown. One Easter Sunday morning
he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird
cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised
and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to
speak..."I was walking through town yesterday when I
saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird
cage. On the

bottom of the cage were three little wild birds,
shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad
and asked, "What you got there, son?" "Just some old
birds," came the reply.

"What are you gonna do with them?" I asked.

"Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered
"I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their feathers to
make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time." "But
you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later.
What will you do?"

"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy.

"They like birds. I'll take 'em to them."

The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you
want for those birds, son?"

"Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister.
They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing.
They ain't even pretty!"

"How much?" the pastor asked again.

The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and
said, "$10?"

The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten
dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a
flash, the boy was gone.

The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it
to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a
grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the
door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the
birds out, setting them free..

Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the
pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this
story.

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation.
Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he
was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught
the world full of people down there. Set me a trap,
used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all

"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.

Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna
teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how
to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke
and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and
bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have
fun!"

"And what will you do when you get done with them?"
Jesus asked. "Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared
proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no
good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate
you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You
don't want those people!!"

"How much?" He asked again.

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood,
tears and your life."

Jesus said, "DONE!"

Then He paid the price.

The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door and
he walked from the pulpit.

Notes: Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to
trash God and then wonder why the world's going to
hell.

Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in
God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also
"believes" in God).

Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand jokes
through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but
when you start sending messages regarding

the Lord, people think twice about sharing?

Isn't it funny how when you go to forward this
message, you will not send it to many on your
address list because you're not sure what they
believe, or what they will think of you for sending
it to them.

Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what
other people think of me than what God thinks of me.

I pray, for everyone who sends this to their entire
address book, they will be blessed by God in a way
special for them.

And send it back to the person who sent it, to let
them know that indeed it was sent out to many more.