Joke

A man had just travelled to a hot climate to avoid the cold of winter and was expecting his wife who was on a business trip to join him the following day. He decided to send his wife an email saying he had arrived safely. Unfortunately he had misplaced his wife's email address and could only guess. He tried but unfortunately for him he missed one letter and the email was sent instead to the wife of a preacher who had just died the day before.
The preacher's wife opened her inbox, screamed and fainted. When everyone else in the house rushed up to see what was wrong, this was the message on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Expecting your arrival tomorrow.
your eternally loving husband.
p.s it sure is hot down here.

Slow Down

This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.
It was sent by a medical doctor - Make sure to read what is in the closing statement

AFTER THE POEM.
SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.
Do you run through each day On the fly?
When you ask How are you? Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done Do you lie in your bed With the next hundred chores Running through your head?
You'd better slow down Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.
Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow? A
nd in your haste, Not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die Cause you never had time To call and say,"Hi" You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift.... T
hrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower Hear the music Before the song is over.
--------------------

You're so beautiful to me

YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL TO ME

I thought about you for ages
Even before the start of time

I contemplated everything

That went into your design

I fashioned you completely

Uniquely through and through

I didn't start with someone else

Then slightly change them into you

I thought about your future

Dreamed what you could be

Then I got to work creating

Someone the world has never seen

I thought about your appearance

And knew you'd want the looks

That would find your picture taken

And put on magazines and books

Sometimes you'll want to question

Why you look the way you do

I chose to take your beauty

And pour it all inside of you

You see, when I came to make your beauty

I decided what I'd made

Was too precious for the outside

Where the years would make it fade

So I put it all into your heart

Protected from your age

Knowing then that you could radiate

Through life at every stage

I know you will question

And to question you are free

But be assured of this my child

You're so beautiful to me.

Re: The dream

Ur dream is ur desire, ur desire is ur sentiments, ur
sentiment is ur love, ur love is ur heart, ur heart is
ur spouse, ur spouse is ur future, ur future is ur
destiny, ur destiny is ur ambition, ur ambition is ur
inspiration, ur inspiration is ur motivation, ur
motivation is ur belief, ur belief is ur peace, ur
peace is ur target, ur target is heaven, heaven is ur
home. If God has been treating u good, send this to
all ur friends including me, have a lovely day ahead

Re: Only God knows!

Deji wrote:

Hey;

I overheard God talking about you and this is what he was saying...

GOD: Angels, do you know what I was just thinking bout?

ANGELS: What were you thinking about?

GOD: Christians seem to have forgotten what kind of power they have available a nd the devil keeps on deceiving them!

ANGELS: God, exactly what are you driving at?

GOD: I have made my children in such a way that when the people of the world are sitting, they will be standing, when the world is standing, they will stand out, when the world stands out, my children must be outstanding and when the devil dares the world to be outstanding, my people will be the standards to be used!

JESUS CHRIST: They (Christians) are also forgetting the words in Ephesians1:3

GOD: Please read it out!

ANGEL: PRAISE BE TO THE GOD AND FATHER OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST, WHO HAS BLESSED US IN THE HEAVENLY PLACES WITH EVERY SPIRITUAL BLESSING IN CHRIST

ANGEL: So what do we do now since the end is almost near?

HOLY SPIRIT: My presence is still among men and I will teach and remind the Christians of all that we have discussed. I will also make sure that they pass this message on!

JESUS CHRIST: I will also keep on interceding for them and stand in for them even in their weaknesses.

GOD: I will also make sure that I give to all those who ask of me, seek me and try to find me. The blessings I have promised them through my son Jesus Christ will be delivered to all those who discover that I, Jehovah, I am ready to bless them! Not because of any special things that they have done, but just because I LOVE THEM!

JESUS CHRIST: I will also give all my followers who are willing to pass this conversation on, enough strength to carry on!

ANGELS: We are all backing THE TRINITY and even the devil cannot stop us! How funny! Christians are finally taking over and......

DEVIL (eavesdropping behind the gates): I hope you all heard! I will deploy more troops (demons) and make sure the Christians pray less, read their Bibles less, preach less and make sure

this mail does not move anywhere! Also....

YOU SURE HEARD THAT! THE DEVIL WILL MAKE SURE YOU DO

NOT PASS THIS ON, BUT PROVE HIM WRONG AND SHOW HIM THE

POWER YOU HAVE IN CHRIST JESUS AS A CHRISTIAN. PRAY

MORE, STUDY THE WORD MORE AND PREACH THE WORD!

DO NOT DISAPPOINT GOD! PASS IT ON!

Re: Fw: Questions that make you go, Mmmm...

intereseting stuff!!
Why do we press harder on a remote control
when we know the batteries are flat?







Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient
funds" when they know thereis not enough?


Why does someone believe you when you say
there are four billion stars,but check when you
say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilised needles for death
by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?







Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest,
but ducks when you throwa revolver at him?






Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?



Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?


What is the speed of darkness?




Are there specially reserved parking spaces
for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?



If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?


If the temperature is zero outside today and
it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold
will it be?





If people evolved from apes, why are there still
apes?



If it's true that we are here to help others,
what are the others doing here?




Do married people live longer than single ones
or does it only seem longer?



If someone with a split personality threatens
to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Re: If College Students Wrote the Bible

deji wrote:
> > If College Students Wrote the Bible
> >
> > * The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.
> >
> > * The Ten Commandments would actually be only five; double spaced and
> > written in large font.
> >
> > * A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
> >
> > * Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
> >
> > * Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's E-mail to abuse@romans.gov.
> >
> > * Reason Cain killed Abel; they were roommates.
> >
> > * Reason why Moses and followers walked the desert for 40 years; they
> > didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
> >
> > * Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the
> > seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due
> > and then pulled an all-nighter.
> >